Do holidays override the regular custody schedule?

In most parenting plans, yes. Whoever the holiday rule assigns takes priority for that specific day, then the regular rotation picks back up once the holiday is over.

Should Christmas Eve and Christmas Day go to the same parent?

Families split this both ways. A common approach is pairing the two days together and alternating which parent gets the pair each year. Others give the whole winter break to one parent and alternate the entire block yearly instead.

What about Mother's Day and Father's Day?

These are commonly fixed to that specific parent every year rather than alternating, regardless of whose regular time it falls during.

Holidays, Travel & Life Events

How to Build a Holiday Custody Schedule

Why holiday schedules need their own plan separate from the regular rotation, and how most families handle the major ones.

Holiday custody causes a disproportionate amount of co-parenting conflict, and it's rarely because the holidays themselves are complicated. It's because they get discussed for the first time a week before the holiday, when everyone's already stressed and the regular rotation clearly doesn't have an answer.

Why holidays need their own rule

A normal custody schedule, 2-2-3, week on/week off, whatever pattern you use, tells you who has the kids on any given Tuesday. It says nothing about what happens on December 25th specifically. Without a separate holiday rule, that date becomes a negotiation every single year, usually under time pressure.

The fix is deciding the rule once, in a calm moment, for every major holiday at the same time. Once it's decided, it repeats automatically and nobody has to re-litigate it in December.

The three common rule types

Most families use one of three patterns per holiday:

Alternates by year. Parent A has Thanksgiving on even years, Parent B on odd years, switching every year. This is the most common rule for holidays like Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, and Independence Day.
Fixed to one parent. The same parent has that holiday every single year. Mother's Day and Father's Day are almost always handled this way, tied to whichever parent the day is actually for.
Split within the day. Some holidays get divided into blocks, one parent has the morning, the other the afternoon and evening, or one gets Christmas Eve and the other Christmas Day, swapping which parent gets which every year.

Holidays worth planning for

At minimum, most parenting plans cover: New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and the kids' birthdays. Many also add Mother's Day, Father's Day, and any religious holidays specific to the family.

Set it once

The generator below lists the major US holidays with a sensible default rule for each, and lets you override any of them to match what your family actually agreed to, then preview the next few years at once.

FAQ